Self Portrait

Out of Time

This is a self portrait, taken with a strip lightbank above me and two rectangle blackcard to block the excessive light bouncing in my bedroom. And of course I painted my face with black facepaint. It was shoot digitally and cropped to a square format. Although I'm very much against cropping a photo, self portraiture in this case, didn't quite allow me not to do so. I got to shoot blindly using a remote without any idea how it will look like. I can only rely at the digital display each time I took a shot, which I probably shot about 20 of the painted face.

Scanner

I took this photograph of myself from the scanner.

Luck or Fate?

During the evening jogs lately, I couldn't help but to notice certain types of people walking on the streets - the handicaps, the ultra fats, the ultra big bellies, the ones with clutches. My eyes are fixed on their phyiscal condition as I ran past them, and the thoughts of becoming one of them started to frighten me.

I guess that's the reason I always insist to work out lately. It's not like I wanted to me 10 years ago, to show of my muscular physique with a ultra tight top. But it is the thought of becoming one of them. It frightens me to think of the day when I need a clutch or wheels. So for now...I will maintain a good regular exercise routine.

Yes when I see this article, I see Kenneth. You can zoom in by double clicking the article. This guy who was resucitated had arteries blockage when he collasped and I think he is damn lucky to stay alive, as I've learnt that CPR is only useful for ventricular fibrillation. There are 2 types of cardiac arrest - VF and arteries blockage. VF is a condition in which there is uncoordinated contraction of the cardiac muscle of the ventricles in the heart. As a result the heart fails to adequately pump blood and hypoxia will occur followed by unconsciousness within 20 - 30 seconds. However, CPR is hardly useful for arteries blockages.

I wonder if Kenneth would be alive if he had met folks like these when he collasped? I still can't believe that people were just watching him helplessly when he collasped that day. No help was rendered, except for removing his shoes and his personal belongings from his feet and clothes. The colleague whom helped to removed Kenneth's shoes from his feet was so engrossed with his story of "shoes removal process" during the aftemath. I wonder if he knew what was more important at that juncture? Or did he simply refused to do a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? After all, the salivary exchange with another guy wasn't a pleasant affair. I'm not sure if it is saving instinct or out-of- gulit of not being able to resuscitate him, I enrolled myself for a CPR course with the RED CROSS at the end of this month. And I'm determined to educate my colleagues of the importance of CPR and emergency procedures. Not just standing there.

Personal Projects

Exam scripts marking is done. Examiners report is done. Time for 2 months of semester holidays soon! But i'll be teaching some part-time courses during these 2 months, so its not going to be a long break but at least i'm paid extra $$$ for that!

I usually spent lots of time with Mom and princess Fiona during my break. And of course lots of time on taking photographs too! That's the time that really belongs to me. Oh damn...got a new module to develop for next semester...so that woud take up extra time during my break...Gee..

Been thinking alot about my personal projects. I'm primarily interested to document human relationships like lately Ivy Singh-Lim forging a special bond with her employee from Bollywood Veggies. Not only did she not blame her employee for faking immigration passes, she also adopted him as a son and pay for all the litigation fees... I wanna do a portrait of her and her adopted son. And I'm gonna call her tomorrow for permission. I pray she would allow me to do so, coz she doesn't know me.

The next project which I wanna do is a series of portraits of my colleagues in the office. Like a tribute to lecturers. Many have been lecturing for a long long time. My colleague Poh Tee always teased me - "When I started teaching, you are still wearing diapers"....She is fantastic. She doesn't give a damn to the promotion. Her only real love and concern are for her students. And to advance in ones career in the education institution, one ought to do all the extra CCA. But not Poh Tee. She is really interesting and I would like to take a nice portrait of her. She's been lecturing for the past 18 years. There are so many of them.

Well that's what I would like to do. Other projects would be portraits of inter-racial couples in Singapore coz there are so many of them recently! But that would means approaching strangers on the street and I would be doing such lousy job with approaching strangers. I always imagine people looking me like a freak when I take photographs publicly!

This is a world where lives and relationships are so fragile, where we become so oblivious with our neighbours, colleagues, man on the streets, where we continue to damage our Mother Earth despite knowing the magnitude of destruction human had caused to the Earth. We are the best and worst species on Earth. And I like to document the way I view this world as much as possible before I die. For most of us will take along something with us when we die - Our Dreams

Arts does cost $$$$

Photography items bought this August

1. Mamiya RZ67 Pro II - $2500
2. Mamiya Sekor Lens 150mm - $900
3. Photek Softlighter - $200
4. Epson V700 - $915
5. Dry Cabin - $185
6. Manfrotto Magic Arm - $210
7. Films & Development - $100

Total - $5010