Accomplishment without a sense of achievement. Another day of feeling goddamn drained by work. I've completed so much at work that I ought to feel proud of myself. But instead, I'm totally drained - mentally and physically. There are many stuff which I want to do incorporate into my personal life after work - jogging, working out, photo experiment, networking.... However approximately 90% of my energy are utilized at work and the remaining pathetic 10% are left for driving home, dinner and watching tv. (btw, jogging and gym was part of my regular routine years ago).
Are these signs of the aging process or am I simply getting lazier? Can't I simply put on my pair of adidas and dash out of the house, irregardless of my energy level? Everytime, when I wanna do that, the devil in me would convince me otherwise. So for sometime now, I've been blaming it on work. I feel alienated by work, pondering if I gonna live my life like this in eternity. Well, there are definitely better days when I feel energized and would really put on my adidas. But not today.
Today, I wonder if I can live a more fulfilling life by doing things that I like (which is photography), and not feeling drained by work? But how? I do not have the means of making a decent living out of photography. It is definitely a safer route to take with a full time job. Oh... and the endless bills too - house, car, insurance, taxes, new gadgets, utilities bills....
I hate to admit, but there are too much at stake to forgo my job.
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